Dating Ideas
Hi! I'm Betsy (Karie's sister-in-law). Let me give you some background before I ask... BEG... for suggestions and ideas...
My husband and I dated 12 times before we got married. Yep, 12 times. Dates consisted of going out to eat and talking in the booth for hours and then maybe a movie, IF he didn't have to drive the 3 1/2 hours back home to go work on his farm. Then when we married, we waited 5 months before getting pregnant (I got pregnant... I hate when "we" is used. shame on me). During that 1st year without baby, we remodeled our home. Dates consisted of wandering the aisles of Lowe's, Home Depot, and Bargain Outlet for much needed supplies. Then baby #1 arrived 2 months after our first anniversary... with special needs. Then dates consisted of trips to and from our two children's hospitals. ARE YOU NOTICING A THEME OF NOT VERY RELAXING AND FUN DATES YET??? SO baby #2 arrived 14 months later and dates... what are dates??? Whenever we do get a chance to escape, they consist of going out to eat and wandering the aisles of Sam's Club. Now baby #3 will be here in two short months and I'm TERRIFIED of how low our new dating activity ideas will sink!!!!!
HELP!!!!
I would love to know your ideas and suggestions for dating activities. AND your ideas for stay-at-home (after kids go to sleep) dates with your spouse. Keep in mind, we don't live remotely near the ocean or mountains! What do you and your spouse do on dates (that doesn't involve making baby #4)?
Any suggestions are helpful and, as you can read, are most likely better than ours! Thanks!
Posted in: dates, marriage on Saturday, March 6, 2010 at at 3:59 AM
Betsy,
Do you guys have the ability to get a babysitter? Are you looking for places to go out that don't cost much money?
The dates are allowed to conclude in baby making, right? ;)
Staying in ideas -
-save your dinner until the kids go to sleep. If you can wait that long, you could even cook it together after the kids go to sleep (I know it is hard to wait when you're preggo!).
Eat at the table with candles. Or, eat on the floor like a picnic.
-Sit outside with a nice drink.
-Play a game of cards & have tea & popcorn.
-Read a storybook together.
I found this post through my sister Erin's blog.
I know what you are talking about, I was pregnant 3 months after marriage, and baby 3 is due a couple months after our 4 year anniversary! I LOVE kids, and feel so blessed, but you do have to get creative for date nights! One of the things my husband and I love and found to be a great investment was buying a fire pit from Home Depot and just plopping it in the backyard. When the kids are sleeping, we can go have a bonfire, drink, play games, talk, etc. We find going outside helps us stay away from the TV and hence not talking on our date nights. :) We have had hours long conversations out there, it is fabulous.
I also like Erin's idea of dinner after the kids go to bed. We have been doing this a lot lately, and with me being pregnant usually I snack on a little of the kids' dinner to hold myself over till date night.
Also, hi Karie! I didn't know you started a blog, yay!
Here's a different take on the topic of date nights (thanks, Erin):
RealLifeRomance
I too have tried the dinner after the kids go to bed idea (only a couple times) and should definitely do it again. It was great! We also have a fire pit and need to utilize it more.
Our problem is just taking the time to spend time together, whether it be at home or away. When we do have a planned date night (which is rare), it's often a bust because we never know what to do (like you guys, Betsy). Our best dates have been simple ones, like taking a bike ride to a coffee shop or going on a hike.
Great ideas! Thanks! I really like the firepit idea a lot and think my husband might as well. My husband farms and is outside a lot and tired after a day's work and so when I bring up going for a walk, he is like, "um, no thank you!" ha, ha. Sitting on the porch when it warms up sounds like a nice compromise. A few candles set out and a surprise dessert I could make for him. Now you have me thinking of good things to try! James loves shooting, but doesn't get to do it as much as he used to. Maybe his sisters would be comfortable (if we stay on the property) watching our 3 under 3 and we could go shooting. He'd love that.
Erin-cheap dates are nice. Unfortunately don't have regular babysitters in the area. His sisters sometimes watch the boys, but are not the most comfortable with the little babies. that's what made me think of at-home-dates. And if you're the "Erin" from Krista's post, we are due with #3 1 month after our 4th anniversary too! ha, ha.
And I also like the eating after the kids go to bed idea... much more relaxing than it is now at mealtimes!
Great ideas!
Betsy, I laughed out loud after reading the part about not making baby #4 on date nites...
How about reading a book outloud together. Not the marriage-fixing or parenting type, but something just plain old fun. But if he works hard, that might put him to sleep. I can only watch high action movies (not my favorite) with my husband lest he fall asleep. What about sitting in the field with your guitar on a picnic blanket and sing to him. I love sitting in a field. Maybe you should wait for the snow to melt before field-sitting :)
I am a little late as I just found this blog, but what an interesting and important topic! Our oldest(4)is severely physically disabled and the youngest is 10 months. Due to physical and emotional exhaustion we have a very hard time even when we have a sitter and go out. The thing that has saved us is video games. I know it sounds silly, but somehow by me crashing a car all over the place and loosing miserably, we laugh a lot and chat about things other that IEP's and children's hospital, very nice! The other thing we found is that when we do leave, we try to do lunch so we aren't too exhausted to enjoy the opportunity. Hope that you two have already had many nice "dates" and many more to come.